Enemy Mine: If Lifetime did Sci-Fi

Purchased recently at the 1010 Harrison Ave. Goodwill just outside of Dudley Square

        Being a life long fan of all good bad movies and sci-fi when I stumbled across this 1985 film I felt like it was my duty to dish out the 99 cents plus tax. Besides the genre and tagline, “Sworn enemies, they had to become friends to survive!”and the fact that Wolfgang Petersen directed it (Das Boot, The Neverending Story) gave me hope that it would live up to my expectations.
        From the opening scene, you can tell that the quality is pretty low budget, even for a cheesy 80’s film. Models were used for the space crafts instead of CGI, which I liked, but for the setting of planet Fyrine IV itself, it looks like the failed attempts of Star Trek that ended up in the dumpster. As the film progresses this setting perfectly reflects the acting, story and relationship that develop between Earth pilot "Davidge” (Dennis Quaid) and genderless lizard alien “Drac Jeriba Shigan” (Louis Gossett Jr.). After the rivals both crash to the same planet and communicate in nothing but one line zingers, they put their differences aside to survive the sporadic meteor showers. Jeriba, or as Davide refers to him “Jerry”, teaches his new friend about the god, “Shismar“. Whereas Quaids character grows a ridiculous beard, makes a shelter out of space vagina turtle shells and claims to praise Mickey Mouse.
        As far as the acting goes, I can’t do anything but shake my head. With Gossett Jr. as the alien, I expected him to be kind of ridiculous and choppy in the delivery of his newly (and quickly) learned broken English. Dennis Quaid though, goes from angry to crazy to pansy faster than a teenage girl. I feel like he is trying too hard to be an action star and endlessly fails to nail any emotion correctly. The only thing he successfully delivers in the movie is Jerry's baby (Yes, it happens), after his alien friend tells him, “You must open me.” As you can imagine from then on, the bad just gets worse.

       Left on the UMass Boston shuttle bus around 5 p.m.

Opera: Opera Argento Style

VHS Title: terror at the opera, actual title: Opera

Purchased  from Loony Tunes Records in Boston MA in March 2012

   The Italian horror film genre may have began as part of the Italian exploitation mess, but a few directors like Lucio Fulci (The Beyond aka Seven Doors of Death), and Dario Argento made it so much more.  Argento's signature film Suspiria (1977) is a visual feast with vivid colors, stylized sets, and innovative camera work.  Although not his best, Opera is a Dario Argento film through and through.

    The plot of the film revolves around the production of an operatic version of Macbeth being produced in Rome, directed by a "famous"  American horror director.   In a (not so) highly original development, the star of the opera walks out/is injured before opening night and is replaced by her understudy, who is a huge success.   Although the film starts out with a series of well done long shots, I became concerned when after ten minutes into the film nobody had been thrown through a plate glass window (a staple shot of Argento's)!  I was left underwhelmed by the films first death sequence, but kept watching and was very much overwhelmed by the films second.

    Opera really starts to heat up on the second death scene, so much so that I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch the rest of the movie.  From here on in when the killer kills, he ties up our new diva, tapes needles under her eyes and brutally, graphically, murders someone.  I've seen allot of shock horror/exploitation films and felt that some of Opera's death scenes where difficult to watch.  Perhaps this is why the film originally held an U.S. NC-17 rating.  The tape I have is unrated, and runs at 107 min. and I believe is not a cut version. Frustratingly the film is in full screen which takes a bit away.

   From a film making standpoint, this is an odd film.  Opera has high production values, is beautifully shot and some of the score is done by Brian Eno!  The film at certain points is very suspenseful, notably the apartment sequence which I found very enjoyable.  I feel that the issue with this film is that Argento is trying to make a "good" horror film, so at times tries do develop the plot and weave in intricate shots, then other times blasts metal music while someone is being stabbed to death.  If the viewer is not already an Argento  fan, most of this will probably seem like a confusing bewildering mess. Like any auteur, Argento has a very unique style that one can feel while watching one of his films, but in this case that style will go unappreciated to a viewer which has never seen one of his films.  Shock horror fans will be turned off by the films pacing, and attempts to develop a plot, which in an amusing way no cohesive plot is ever formed.  "Film" buffs will be turned off by extraordinarily graphic violence ie: a bracelet being pulled out of a freshly sliced open throat, and general ridiculousness.
   This film, and others, show that Argento had unique style and the directorial talent of other contemporay oddball European filmmakers like Ken Russell and Peter Greenaway (albeit both of them are British).  If Argento had ever branched out of the horror genre he might have garnered a reputation of being an "auteur" or "art-house" filmmaker, but rather his reputation was solidified as master of Italian Horror, which isn't half bad. Opera is considered to be his last "great" film, before things really went bad.
     That's enough film critisizm for one day, "Go Free Young Lizard"

Left in Boston on the Red Line outbound to Alwife at apx. 10pm on 3.24.12  -Wiley

THE INVADERS : Wheezing Men Running From Aliens

THE INVADERS: Wall of Crystal, episode 7

Purchased at Looney Tunes in Boston, November 2010

I picked this gem up for .99cents thinking that any show about invading Aliens from 1967 is worth watching, I was right. Tonight's episode guest stars Ed Asner as an evil Alien hell bent on keeping our hero quiet, and Burgess Meredith as the lovably frank television celebrity reporter/personality. Our story revolves around architect David Vincent who after witnessing a flying saucer late one night, quit his career and now desperately tries to expose and undermine the secret invasion!

In this suspense filled show the Aliens, who can vaporize anything they damn well please, resort to petty thuggery by kidnapping David's brother Bob and Blackmailing David just to keep him from blabbing to the press. 

Fun bits include toxic evaporating crystals, wheezing men running around, Lazers and a showdown at the abandoned winery by the dried up creek. True to scifi of this era in American television, this thrilling series is set to overly dramatic orchestral music Ba Bum Dun Bum Dun Dun Dun DUN DUN!

Bottom line is if you like syndicated scifi like the early X-files or are into films like Pod People, you are sure to find this show about Boogey Men From Outerspace a hoot!

Death Count 8

Left on a park bench on the commonwealth mall 10:50 am 3-22-12

-Pete M

After the Fall of New York: Michael Sopkiw is the next Clint Eastwood

After the Fall of New York

Purchased off of Ebay around the year 2000

This is one of the oldest, if not the oldest VHS that was in my collection.  I purchased it off of Ebay when I was in either middle school or early high school during a phase which I obsessed  over movies like Escape from New York, and Mad Max.  As the title suggests,  After the Fall of New York (1983) is a blatant ripoff of the most poplar  post-apocalyptic films of the time.
     One of my favorite things about this VHS is that on the box (wich seems to no longer be in my possession) was a really silly review which reads "Michael Sopkiw is the best action hero since Clint Eastwood" ahahahahahahaha, golden.  Allot of these Italian productions have really great cover and promotional artwork, often having nothing to do with the action in the film.
  The film itself revolves around the search and rescue/capture of earths last fertile woman.  It's a little unclear how without much of a central government, or anybody else running the show, how the last fertile woman can be pinpointed.  However, if you are trying to analyze this movies plot points, you're watching the wrong movie.  This flick is pure silliness through and through, and isn't really trying to be much more.
  One of my favorite parts of After the Fall of New York, is the introduction to the main character where he is involved in a demolition derby a la' Death Race 2000 style.  Another favorite detail of mine are the costumes, truly over the top and ridiculous.
   If you like Italian Explotation, also check out Escape From The Bronx (bet you can't guess what movie it rips off!).


Left in Boston on the 39 Bus Inbound on  3/14/12 around 4:30 PM        -Wiley                                                    

Murder By Death: Slow Death

Murder By Death

Obtained from a local thrift store not long ago...

    I was really excited when I found this VHS in 3/1 bin a a local store.  I am a sucker for those predictable bunch o' people in a house "who done it" flicks.  The cover has a picture of a big creepy house, the kind I like.  the cast is superb, and I was wondering why I had never heard of it before.  Alec Guiness, David Niven, Peter Falk, Peter Sellers, Elsa Lancaster and... Truman Capote.  Most of the cast are unofficially portraying famous detectives, like Ms. Marple, Charlie Chan etc.
   Peter Sellers as the Charlie Chan character is amazingly/terribly racist when watching him you're not sure weather to laugh or cringe.  This movie tries to be a comedy, but really inst very funny and also doesn't really succeed at being suspenseful either.  The film has the feel to it that it was probably originally a play, which I believe is the case.  The play may have been funny, but somehow it  just doesn't translate to the big screen.  Even with the amazing cast the film feels cheap, I cant really put my finger on it, but it could be the back lot TV set look  that the... set... of that the film has.
    All in all I still rather enjoyed the film (I enjoy nearly all films that take place in a creepy mansion), but I feel like it could have been so much better.  It is still certainly worth a watch if you dig films like Ten Little Indians and such.

Left On Newbury St. in Boston around 5:30 PM 3/13/12

-Wiley

Midnight Express: Don't try to Smuggle Drugs Across Borders

Midnight Express

Purchased at an unknown date from an unknown place.

   First and foremost my favorite thing about Midnight Express is Giorgio Moroders title score "Chase" it's some fresh electronic disco that is still fly as shit 35 years later, I suppose the stuff on the screen isn't too bad either.  The movie did win an Academy award for the score though.  The cassette that I have appears to have been made in 1993, and the quality is about as good as you can expect a VHS tape to be.
   The flick is based on a true story about a guy who tries to take two kilos of hash out of Turkey, gets caught, and is eventually given a 30 year prison term.  I was once in Cambodia and had purchased a large amount of (fairly low grade) marijuana, and briefly thought of trying to take some back with me to South Korea where I was living at the time.  In South Korea you can get jail time for internal possession of drugs, fortunately the story of Billy Hayes was floating around in my brain and I did the smart thing and left the dope in Cambodia.  This film is serves as a reminder that when you are in another country, you are playing by their rules and that your ideas of right and wrong don't matter all that much.
     The film is quite sensationalized, it has that Oliver Stone feel to it ... because Oliver Stone wrote the screenplay and you can feel the hyped-up sensational bullshit feel that Stone brings to a production.  Some of these embellished details really pissed off the Turks, and also irritated original author Billy Hayes.  Apparently in 2004 Oliver Stone apologized for "tampering the truth". (sounds fishy doesn't it, pulled that off of Wikipedia).

Left on the #1 Bus in Boston @ 7:00 on 3/12/12

Halloween III: The Troll 2 of the Halloween Series

Halloween III
Given to me by my brother, who purchased it from a Goodwill as part of a Halloween 1,2,3 box set for $1-  on like March 7 2012 or thereabouts.

    I wasn't allowed to see R rated movies as a kid (wich according to my mother was until I was 17) so I grew up envying of all the other geeky kids who had seen ALL of the horror movies that I could not.  I do allot of vintage shopping and have been hunting for VHS's of the Halloween series for quite a while.  I thought I had picked up a copy of Halloween II six months ago, but had my world shattered when I went to watch it and found a dog training video inside (not even home-made porn...).  When my brother came back from the Goodwill with a box set of Halloween tapes last wekk, I was pretty excited, even though we already have at least one copy of the original Halloween.  At the adult at the age of 27 I had never seen 2, or 3.

      I was fairly underwhelmed by Halloween II, really just more of the same guy in a mask stuff that has become quite commonplace, on the upside it does have Jamie Lee Curtis, and Donald Pleasance returning.  After a little bit of research, I was shocked to learn that Halloween 3 has nothing to do with Mike Myers, and the mythology of the series!  Haloween III revolves around a novelty toy maker named Silver Shamrock and the masks that they make.  Apparently series creator John Carpenter had the idea to make a new Halloween themed film each year... that idea failed, and we are left with Haloween III a film that bears no connection to it's predecessor (can't really call them prequels), in the same way that Troll 2 famously has no connection to the film Troll.
    Halloween III is produced by J.C. and also features his amazingly crafted synth-cheese tunes.  It does also have some voice work done by Jamie Lee Curtis (she also did the opening narration for Escape From NY) which was fun to stumble into.  The quality of the tape was significantly better than that of Halloween II, and I found the film to have reasonably good production values, and even the acting wasn't too jarring.  In fact the main baddy is played by Dan O'Herlihy of Twin Peaks fame (woot woot), and even leading guy Tom Atkins (in previous Carpenter productions Escape From New York, and The Fog) holds is own as Dr. Chaliss... our hero.
  The basic plot is that Silver Shamrock is making Halloween masks that are going to do something bad to the kids wearing them.  When watching the film you will soon hate Silver Shamrock via their brain numbing "X more days to Halloween" adverts that permeate the film.  One little plot point that irritated me was that Silver Shamrock only makes three variety of masks, seriously... all the kids in the U.S. will wear one of three masks???   Another thing that was odd, is that there is no real explanation of what is to be gained from messin' up a bunch of kids, other than a general contribution to evil. The movie isn't super exciting until Dr. Chaliss gets to the town of Santa Mira, where things to get genuinely creepy.
    Overall this film has a worse rep. than it deserves, sure it has nothing to do with the Mike Myers mythology, but had it not been released as a "Haloween" film it may have been received (a bit) better.

Left at the Haley House Bakery/Cafe at 4:00 PM  on 3/12/12    -Wiley

It Begins

This blog began as an idea between two Andrews and has been further discussed between many friends.  A recent VHS for NES game swap has inspired me to actually do it.  If you want it in, let me know the more the merrier!

-Wiley